Sunday, November 11, 2012

Alcoholism

I am saddened by the amount of people in my life that are either
A) alcoholics
B) living with one
C) has a family member who is one
D) has a close friend who has A.B or C to deal with

Myself, I like to have a drink on occasion.  I enjoy mixed drinks or wine usually and it's fairly rare but I like the taste.  Never, every week or even month for that matter and I am not that person that drinks until I'm drunk.  I'm just more of a social drinker for parties or celebrations. 

Lately, I can't seem to enjoy those few "celebrations" because all I can think as I sip my glass is the ugliness held within that glass and the damage it is doing.   It's not "cheers" and happiness and laughter.  It's poverty, domestic violence, and tears.  I really am torn for those people that HAVE to have it.  The affects on the body are horrible, the money spent towards it can make a whole family lose everything, and the lost relationships just leave me at a loss for words.  I have seen so much destruction (past to present) within my family and with my friend's families and it makes me very sad.  I am heart broken at this very moment and so disappointed.

I read somewhere that alcoholics have no empathy.  The disease kills that and so they can't relate to your pain.  I don't know if that is true but I would say that is right just based on the examples I've seen.  I wish the one I love could feel my pain right now.  Feel his wife's pain.  Feel my worries.  I pray for those people closest to him and can only hope that he comes to his senses in time before he ends up in his own world full of regrets.  No wife, no home, and even further in debt if not in jail or dead.  My heart bleeds for the unborn child that may be entering into his world and that life.  If things do not do a 180° turn for the better it will not be good.   He will never read this blog nor would he really care if he did happen upon it and realize I wrote it.  His caring needs to be for himself and that has been vacant for a very long time. 

Prayer is all I'm left with.  Prayers for him, for his child on the way, his wife and really anyone close to him as we all play some part, good or bad.  My prayer goes up for ALL the alcoholics in this world and the people around them. 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Time Travel

I just finished watching Safety Not Guaranteed, a really great movie.  I highly recommend it and believe me, I watch a ton of movies.  This one is really great.  If it wasn't almost midnight I think I would watch it all over again.  It makes me think about time travel, among a whole host of other thoughts & feelings.  But really, the movie circles around the notion of time travel and then it dives deeper into why you would be willing to go if it was possible.

It got me to thinking, would there be anything I would go back for?  There is nothing really "cut & dry" in my life that instantly comes to my mind like in the movie.  There are moments and mistakes I wish were different in my life but then if I changed them, how would that change me now?  All my experiences, good or bad, have shaped me into the woman I am today.  Then I wonder are there moments that I could go back and change that would help someone else?  A path I crossed that hurt someone without my realizing until it was to late.  Yes, I'm sure of it.  Those moments may be worth a do-over. 

What about you?  I would love to hear your story in my comments if you would time travel and why.  Not just to "see" things (like dinosaurs and such) but to really make a difference, to prevent losing someone if you could, or to right a wrong.