LIFE

This is a picture of me and my little sis with my Grandparents. My Grandma has been gone for almost 12 years. Well, my Grandpa too. He died 6 months after my Grandma from congestive heart failure. He was never sick a day in his life. They were married almost 68 years, so I think he died of a broken heart. They were amazing people. I really have so many fond memories of them both & have always felt when I became a grandma I wanted to pattern my "role" after them.

Well, I just found out a few days ago that my step-daughter Brandi is 6 weeks pregnant.

She came to be my daughter at the age of 5. I always wanted her & her little brother to feel like they were loved by me as though they were my own. They lived with us and I spent a great deal of time with all my kids as my husband worked 2nd shift and was gone from 3-midnight. I felt I did a great job of "mothering" up until they became teenagers. Then the tables turned and things did not work out quite like I dreamed they would. I was a step child too and I know what kind of things really hurt you to the soul. I never wanted that feeling for them. I hope that they do not have that but I am not close with Brandi and I hope that can & will change. Our relationship fell apart when she was 15. Of course it doesn't help that her own mother was never too bright with what she said or did for her children. She was not very supportive of my husband & I when it came to parenting issues. I don't think I'll ever understand the human nature of NOT wanting someone else to love your children. I am excited to have a 2nd chance now with the little one on the way. I don't know what kind of life he/she will have but I plan to be a positive influence for him/her & a Grandma they will never have a doubt about when it comes to love!! YYYYYYY

Just my thoughts for today! 13 days no sugar & a future grandma! :)