Friday, August 14, 2009

The JOYS of children-Day 5 of Daily Be's Daily Joy photojournal week!

This is my youngest. He is 20. It's a real JOY to see him smiling as he really doesn't do it as much as I'd like. My hubby and him rode around on bikes for a few minutes and I could see the sweet child in him once again.

All my kids are grown now. I met my husband and married him when my own son was 6 years old. He had 2 children that were 5 and 2. (James, here, was that 2 year old). They all lived with us full time, almost like a "normal" family. That seems like a lifetime ago now. Divorce is so hard on people. I came from divorced parents and even as an adult there are always issues that arise because of my parents not being together. Especially around holidays...those are especially difficult to organize.

It's been a challenge, merging our two families. I thought we did a pretty good job up until the two younger ones became teenagers. Those were VERY rough years that I wouldn't wish on anyone!! It was truly by the grace of God that we are even still together and even now all the pieces do not always fit right. All my kids have issues and my husband and I just can't help but worry about them. It's hard to let go and LET GOD and just pray that they come to some sort of understanding and common sense and that they will let God back into their lives. I'm sure my oldest son has a drinking problem. It all started in college and got worse when him and his girlfriend split up. He is at least holding down a job but I wish he would start seeing the world in a more sober perspective. I still see so much potential in him. My step-daughter is pregnant, living with a man and unable to pay her bills because of all the poor choices she has made. The repo guy came along the other night looking for her car at our house. My hubs and I disagree on "helping" as he wants to foot the bill to keep her from losing her car and I think she is on her own and her and this fellow should figure it out. So far, us helping has only taught her that we will pick up the tab no matter what. I get frustrated with the whole deal and then it sure doesn't help that her and I do not have a very good relationship. It all sure didn't turn out like I envisioned it 17-18 years ago! And my youngest step-son, God Bless him. He was the sweetest child. He battles depression and has since he hit his teens. I never seen puberty work so many changes in one person before! Even his hair went from being blond, fine and straight, to thick, course and very curly! He was so self conscious about it too. We still struggle with how to communicate with him because he shuts down so easily and that affects him on his job since he doesn't like to be reprimanded for anything. We only pray he keeps his job and continues to grow and mature and eventually finds his own happiness. (and move out eventually too!) smile.

Anyway, I still struggle with finding my place as "mom" to these adults. Shoot, I still feel like a kid myself and can't believe I'm in my 40's! I find listening to Dr. Randy Carlson on the radio really helps. He gives advise that really hits home. Here is his website and you can type in any topic on marriage, relationships (even work, friends), children, parenting, etc. and it will let you listen on-line to some of his radio broadcast. I highly recommend his program to anyone since relationships are a normal part of our lives. Me, I just want JOY in my life, my husbands life, and in my kids lives so some day we can be one big happy family and not always feeling like such a dysfunctional one!

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