Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday~pay day~pray day

Friday- either a payday or not for me.  Today it was.  Not for my son.  He gets paid opposite Fridays then I do. 

I put a total stop on helping him financially when he made almost as much as me last year and blew the total sum of it.  He is spiraling downhill fast.  I know he was thinking "I'll catch that bill next time" but when next time comes he has already spent the money.  Collectors are calling him non-stop and of course it's on my home phone number. 

I do know once you get so broke it's hard to climb back up to just maintaining...working, paying bills, working, paying bills. Even a flat tire can be devastating at that point

I'm frustrated that he is getting into more and more of a mess.  I know he is frustrated and hopefully not falling into a depression.  It's hard to not just try to help catch him up when I know I could, but I realize that has not been helping him either.  It just delays the process until next time.  And, honestly, I do worry about what the money he is spending is being spent on.  I don't want to contribute to anything that numbs him from life. He has been numb long enough.  .

Of course, I'm his mom so he will not listen to any advise I try to give him.  He complains that he is only 24 and he is not going to just sit home and work and do nothing else.   That is his excuse to spend what he knows belongs to someone else already.  When I was 24,  he was six.  Maybe if he had a "six" he would look at life alittle more differently.  He is so full of discord.  I want him to be full of the Holy Spirit so he will know peace and hopefully some self-control.  I want him to be able to see a future for himself instead of living life in the fast lane and only for this day. 

I pray for him all the time.  Really, all my kids.  How can you not?!  I try not to worry and just give it to God but it's such a constant presence that it is creeping back moment by moment until I'm fretting.  So I'm blogging to vent and ask for prayers for my oldest.  Wisdom, guidance, love, whatever~ God knows what he needs and it's more than just money. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Stacey,
    That must be so hard on you but until he decides that he's ready to take control. Then I guess all you CAN do is pray.
    Sending some prayers from this side of the pond for you both...
    Nic xx


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